epiphany :)

So, statistics say that you've already tried a diet or two, and if you haven't then congratulations; I'm envious. However if you have tried a diet, maybe it worked, maybe it didn't, chances are you've put the weight back on. You might have even put more back on than you started off with.

I know you've probably heard this before, but the truth is that when I set these rigid restrictions upon my eating habits, the urge to break them only grows. Small binges (or large binges in many cases) become all the more tempting, and leave me feeling all the more guilty, ashamed and depressed afterwards. Reaching for something to nibble on seems entirely unavoidable and breaking the habit (and kicking the chocolate) might be manageable for a day or two, but in the long run I feel myself falling down an endless spiral of failure and self-deprecation. 

Why does this happen? It's because I committed myself to a quick fix, something that deep down I knew that I couldn't (and wouldn't) stick to and as a result, surprise surprise, I didn't stick to it. The result? I feel hopeless - will I ever look the way I want?

You've probably also heard before that to really look and feel healthy you need to make a lifestyle change, but I find that committing myself to salads for the rest of my life has me scrambling for my emergency chocolate supply quicker than ever. What I found recently was that I can't define my new lifestyle while looking towards the future, I needed it to be in the present. That might be a bit of an abstract thought, but I promise to explain everything, and hopefully inspire a person or two, because I'm feeling pretty empowered by my new state of mind.

It's an old cliche, but for what I'm about to tell it really rung true for me; if you want to be successful, you need to believe in yourself. You need to remain positive and reinforce the positives in your life. You need to learn to love yourself and your body, because if you don't love something how can you expect to give it the care and attention it deserves? How could I love and care for my body if every time I looked in the mirror I felt sick?

So instead of looking in the mirror and hating myself, I decided that I needed to love myself. I told myself that I wasn't just going to be healthy, I was healthy. I am healthy. By telling myself that I was beautiful and that I was healthy and fit and energetic, I trained my subconscious to believe me. I sound a bit crazy, but the truth is that with a positive mindset I wasn't forcing myself to chose a salad, I wanted to and was happy to choose the salad. Of course I allow myself the occasional treats too (otherwise I'd go insane from deprivation), but I found that the more I thought of myself as someone who loves healthy foods and exercise, the more I started to become that person.

Here's a list that I wrote when I decided to make this change:

- I am slim and healthy.

- I am in control.

- I chose what I eat and I chose what is best for me and my body.

- I am successful.

- I am admirable.

- I deserve respect.

- I love my body and I love myself.

Not long ago this list wouldn't have been true at all, but every day now it becomes more and more my reality. This change is only a recent one, but I'm really optimistic about the future. I plan on weighing myself in a couple of weeks to see if any changes have occurred, but that doesn't really matter. I've experienced the best change already and that's the way I look at myself and feel about myself.

Ok, sappy monologue over. I just wanted to get that lot of cliched gibberish out there, just so that this whole new mentality can grow and become even more so my reality :)